Sarah Palin's Lie - Sunny's Almost Daily Commentary

I’ve been wondering what it would take, what would motivate me to write. As much as I love the written word, finding the time to write something meaningful while managing the rest of my life seemed unbelievably difficult. But when John McCain put Sarah Plain on the Republican ticket for vice-president, that did it! For the last several weeks I’ve watched the news shows, read the dailies and weeklies, and stayed glued to the internet. All in the desire to give Gov. Sarah Palin a fair shake. I wanted to gather enough information to see if she warranted my voting for a Republican ticket that I wouldn’t even have thought of voting for before she was added to it. I kept looking, trying to find that piece of the political puzzle that would allow me to embrace the Republican ticket. Was some convincing nugget of information in the pages of Newsweek or the Christian Science Monitor? Maybe even the Anchorage Daily News would bring my Holy Grail-like quest to a successful end. But it just wasn’t to be.

For me, the most moving and damning coverage of Sarah Palin came from the September 7, 2008 New York Times in an article titled “Fusing Politics and Motherhood in a New Way.” But it wasn’t just that article that helped me make the decision against Sarah Palin and the Republicans. Ultimately, it was my own reflections on, and still knee deep in, mothering a 17-year-old girl and a 13-year-old boy.

You see, I have the blessing and challenge of raising African American teenagers in the age of MTV, BET, SMS, BFFs, iPods, STDs, AIDS and, the not quite as deadly, out of control consumerism and instant gratification that would corrupt an entire 3^rd world country in six months. As I know, assumptions will follow--let me say that I was married to my children’s father for 15 years.  And their father continues to be an unwavering force in their lives.

Having miscarried and then successfully had two kids, I know about being pregnant and motherhood. The covert way that Gov Palin handled the pregnancy of her last child, Trig, struck me as conniving and engineered. The only thing private about motherhood is conception--unless of course that was recorded and posted to YouTube. As the baby starts growing, it would take writers and props from Universal Studios to orchestrate a woman's life as not to show the growing baby bump. But this is what Gov. Palin did—hide her pregnancy. There is a public aspect to nearly everything about pregnancy and mothering from birth, to managing a two year old’s meltdown in the grocery store. Even the diagnosis and possible fear of having a Down syndrome child seems to be shallow rationale for keeping her pregnancy secret from her family and the voters of Alaska for so long.

As a woman and mother, like millions of others, I have struggled with the issue of staying at home to raise children versus working outside the home. I won’t rehash my commentary from last year that reflects on the confluence of my wedding day, divorce and Mother’s Day, but for eight years I opted for the 24/7 job of motherhood. It was lonely, tiring and put my career in what I, to this day, call “stalled” as I try to get back into the workforce in a meaningful way. I look at my children today and know I did the right thing. I had to prepare them for going into a world that doesn’t look kindly on African American children or looks at them too long especially if shopping at the mall. My 17-year-old daughter and I have discussed sex, contraception, sexual orientation and the proper use of a condom. This is the real world we live in. Initially, the conversations may have been uncomfortable for both of my kids, but it was just another piece of life’s puzzle that I had to help them sort out. My daughter knows that premarital sex comes with risks and I’m glad that I prepared her for making a decision should the situation present itself.

It was while I was working at my first job, I heard for the first time the adage that Black folks had to come earlier and stay later just to stay on par with Whites. Not much has changed as I try to instill that principle in my children. The same adage holds true for the parent/child relationship whatever color you are. The closer my daughter gets to 18, the more that voice in my head wants to shout “whoopie.” But I push that voice back down with a loud “don’t shout too soon.” Kids make some of the dumbest mistakes imaginable. As a parent you can only hope that the mistakes are not life altering. Just as my own mother’s screaming admonitions of “you better not bring any babies in here” resonated for many years past my eighteenth, my tone with my children was ratcheted down a few notches but just as emphatic and the language was tempered by the confidence that I had spent many hours listening to and then talking with my kids everyday.

It’s easy at this point to adopt a holier-than-thou mind set. But the truth of the matter is that I really want to pose this question to Alaska's governor: “You’re the White, married with five kids, governor of the largest state in the Union, what the hell happened?” What I’ve learned in the last 17 years is that sometimes even motherhood and parenting is divided along racial lines.

As I read the Times article I tried to figure out exactly what was “fused” and what’s the “new way” and whether it’s working for the governor?  Things in the Palin household seemed pretty disconnected to me. Until, of course, it was time for an appearance at the Republican National Convention. This new age tableau that Gov. Palin  is painting for Alaskans and her family includes choosing to withhold the truth and a juggling act that’s not working.

I continue to fight for my kids and even with my kids. My daughter will continue to be a little distant as she prepares to leave the nest for college next year. She hasn’t realized it yet but I know that’s what she doing. My son has just started down the puberty road. Man, do I still have some battles in front of me. All of that is the truth. And it’s out there talked about and argued over.

In the end, if Gov. Palin's family issues had been my neighbor's or best friend's, I would say it sounds like something from “All My Children.” But still their personal matters.  But as someone who is running for the second highest political office in these United States there is a lack of integrity to Gov. Palin's actions that leaves me wondering if she would hide her own pregnancy, what else would she cover up if elected.

'til the next time,

Sunny